• The mum in me

Why im a vegan. And why i'm sorry.

Just to clarify . Im not sorry i'm vegan. I'm just sorry how i'm going about it lately but here goes .

So i thought id change it up from my usual blog.

Being vegan. Theres a fine line between arrogance and confidence. i tend to feel that with my life i always have to justify everything. perhaps its because i'm not confident and usually avoid confrontation.

So why vegan its stems to 16 main reasons;

1. Hidden Suffering

2. mass production (mass pumping)

3. humans controlling nature

4. health (bowels)

5. reducing my carbon footprint

6. male babies of chicks and cows and the life of chickens and cows (I'm not talking the picturesque farms we are 'allowed to visit)

7. breastfeeding & human milk

8. the link between dairy farms and slaughter houses

9. I want a better world

10. I want to be a better person.

11. believing in a god. I don't think we should use animals

12. guilt & sorry

13. I was naive and uneducated... i've educated my self, rang dairy farms (one of the best largest high end dairy i've found is riverford, they let them have there mums milk for 12 weeks and then the boys go to slaughter' I'd love to find more good farms like this.*(hidden humour)

14. my veggie & vegan friends they give me hope i can do this and they are people to learn from.

15. I was arrested and forced in police van

16. I didn't no when i would see my 5 month baby again i was very very engorged and he was very very distressed as he wouldn't take a bottle

heres a good link...


In random order


I've had so many health problems over the years i've tried gluten free, dairy free, ibs diet, so heres why its going to stick. finally after 10 years of blood in my poo and only pooing every two week. guess what I poo every day. and not much blood (yay me)

Guilty and Sorry

Ive actually have annoyed some people lately. I guess strong views do. And i want to put it right. I don't want to annoy anyone or anyone not to like me. As usual i care what people think even when i shouldn't.

It all started when someone (a stranger) said go concentrate on bringing up your kids instead of posting about veganism. They also said i was shallow and not an activist as my wedding photo, i've got a ton of makeup on and white teeth and dyed hair. Anyway her comments left me upset and well questioning my approach lately. i think i might give blogging and posting a bit of a break until i'm a bit mentally stronger. but heres my last blog for a while.

I started posted a bit too much about veganism. (but i didn't think it would offend people quite as much. Its not like i want everyone not to drink dairy.. or do i (jokes) . Maybe just to challenge peoples thoughts, I thought life was like the film pay it forward. i didn't no quite how to go about it. i might end up like the fate of the character in the film if i carry on as i am. I guess i just want to make people see what i see. .. but as i learnt today in church... everyone has to come to things on there own.

So on a side note. the advertising standards agency in the uk have announced the dairy industry as inhumane. (according to the research my husband did on dairy).

naive and uneducated

Its all to do with my naivety Its not about blaming on other people. I have lots of freinds like old me good people that drink big companies milks and eat meat and use lots of plastic but i still love them.

Its a genuine apology to my sparring partner. Im sorry for 'shoving it in your face'. this is what my sparring partner told me. I was called 'bitter' a 'hypocrite' i can't really the remember the rest. this is from a girl who used to only want to 'hang around with pretty people' quote.

I have literally consumed pints and pints of milk in my life i dubbed myself the dairy queen. When I was a child i ate just grated cheese for three years. SO i am not to tell anyone what to do and thats not what i want to do. I just want to show my passion. I don't want to force, change, preach, annoy, be arrogant, be incorrect or wrong. So here goes my apology. Especially to those who have spent there lives as vegetarians helping the planet. I respect you, so much more than you will ever know. I guess its about my own personal guilt. I ate meat for years i tried not to. i tried the odd month without meat.. the vegan challenge, the dairy free chocolate, I thought i was doing enough and i needed meat and milk to survive. (I also did a party bag theme based on either second hand toys, no plastic bags, I went out and bought some expensive biodegradable balloons.

Me and T literally didn't buy anything in plastic for 2 months it was sooo hard. I thought I was doing what i could. but you no what I could always have done more. there is always something more.

My friends

I have been blind and my friends infact some of my closest friends .. are veggie there bringing there kids up veggie but theyve never tried to convert me. Which i respect. I guess i wish my eyes were naturally open or that i could of know of things early. But honestly i probably wouldnt of listened. Because for me only with huge life events comes change.. About how i dont no how to go about being vegan. suddenly its like suffering is everywhere. where have i been all my life I really don't no how. Me. Someone who grew up who mostly grew up disliking animals (taught to dislike them). I was very selective which isn't fair at all. I really didn't like ferrets* private joke

Eating meat for 29 years. And not being bothered about animals but i cried when in a documentary a cow got shot, but still loved steak.

i also used to save worms and bugs as a kid and now my little girl does the same . I used to be dreaming of freeing animals at the zoo. Thats me. A typical i admire you for not eating animals but i could never do it. Also me. I no about animal testing in sure i wrote an essay on it in school but never stopped using products if they helped my hair. Also me. Whats a vegan?

I was arrested for being mentally ill & forced in a police van

So i had this experience about two months ago. It was extreme. Painful. Scary and well im angry about it. So maybe all this vegan is me being mad about me being 'not free' and instead i'm deflecting and saying look there not free. And what i should actually do its get myself a lawyer like everyone says and fight what happened to me. So back to animals. Its like i wasnt awake to the fact they suffer. Until something bad happened to me. I dont no how to describe it. i was terrified of dogs. Never had a pet. Brought up to think all dogs with bite you give you sepsis and make you blind... dont get me started on the germs from having sleep overs. That can be another day. Back to animals i Loved steak and bacon. Loved any beauty product know matter where it came from. So i know i might seen like a massive hypocrite because i ate meat for 29years. I did not do my bit. And yet some of you might think this could be a faize wheres the commitment. Ive not done this for years. all my months and for two months ive been vegan. So ill explain. Its like i was awakened. So i apologise if im suddenly going on about it. But after my 'experience' i couldnt eat meat. Then a few days later i couldnt eat dairy. I then realised that the 'experience' had changed me. I literally feel sick at the idea of meat. I tried to eat fake meat veggie steak and i was nearly sick it was so much like meat. I think because i couldnt stop a bad thing from happening to me. I feel like im trying to stop bad things from happening to someone else. Animals. Yes someone. I never would of said that before. Its like i suddenly see them equally. When i watch my cow videos i feel like its me being seperated from my child. Yep im starting to sound... There are levels of bad. I wont go into the events of that night. I cant say i felt much physical pain. My skin was numb.Emotional pain is much more intense. What happened to me was just a small glimse of what happens to animals. Anyway. So all of a sudden without realising it i was treated not to disimilar to an animal. Id say mainly a cow. With being engorged for twelve hours. Its all sounding a bit odd this blog. Back to animals. Im sorry. But ive just realised what we do to them. Im literally stupid. How did i not know this. The more i read. Its like i want to tell everyone. So sorry i didnt realise how we use animals all the time. Get this we even use snails for beauty products. We use animals to test on i think most of the main beauty companys cruely use animals. We eat it all the time so much it destroys the environment. The food we grow to feed our animals. Transporting them etc etc. But cows. We take there young. If there male we almost always kill them. Quote from the farmers wife blog. So we can get you your yummy milk. At the minute the services involved with me are worried that im a vegan for the wrong reasons that im doing it because of my mental health and that im not being mindful basicly i look pale & thin

One last rant... because i'm not blogging for a while.

Its mainly Because of the cow baby 'thing' so i'm sorry i've randomly gone all activist. Its like its all i talk about.. like when i was planning a wedding for three years. I really don't want to push it on anyone. But i literally didn't realise this was happening and by using all my products and drinking pints and pints of milk every day. ( addicted yes) i was contributing to cruelty.

I guess i figure if i did not know what i was doing then everyone else is in the dark too.

But finally i'm sorry. Ill be more careful what i post. Like i said i had a 'crazy experience". Nearly got sectioned. (this isn't an excuse, it will help you understand the thought processes'

And now im vegan. So anyway enough.

for those of you interested in being vegan. I feel happier and healther now. ive done my research its a cruel world.

One thing i will say is i did alot of research in my degree and i know how to research. I personally haven't been ringing every dairy farm just some and rang working dairy farms who don't let you visit. Ive researched. So one thing i will say it if milk wasn't mass produced and life was like visiting farms were you milk them by hand and there kids dont always go for meat straight away. I do now know cow babys are seperated and thats all i need to know.

#vegan #anxiety #mentalillness #preaching #speakingout #change #sorry

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