I need some sleep. Nick and the bad seeds
So it's 1.30 im not having a break down. Feeling low. I just can't sleep. I keep having bad dreams. I woke up and felt a great relief that i wasnt being chased. Lately i feel a bit more positive. I'm still not taking any medication. I suppose i thought after 11 years of tablets and then to stop in September I would just automatically adjust to life. But its been tough. Everything is so raw, i literally am so sensitive and i guess i should be happy ive managed this long without some massive life changing break down. It's been six months.
I just would love to stop having such vivid dreams. I'd love it if night didnt creep me out so much. Where I didnt have to sleep with a bit of light peering though from the corridor. I suppose it's because quite honestly ive never been honest on my blog. The last time I was in hospital for some sort of pychosis. Of all the lows and highs.... this was something alien to me. At three in the morning. I thought something massive was going to happen which lead to me running out the house and eventually getting arrestedand seperated from my children sat in hand cuffs for quite some time. Not that I'd hurt anyone or hurt myself. I guess when your acting pretty crazy that's where the mental health act comes in handy. I just wish they hadn't beaten me up so badly. I suppose they didn't know why I was out the house. I wasn't going to tell them. Anyway post partum pychosis is a real thing. I didnt choose to feel that way or think that way.