My Weight complex
Updated: May 11, 2021
For 30 plus years, I was surrounded by people who made apart of me I couldn't change (physically) seem abnormal. I never said anything, until one day I went out of my way to prove that my weight was normal for me. Unfortunately despite my doctors, midwife's, and my genetics saying I was a 'normal' weight for me certain people still couldn't except my weight. The women who hated my weight when I was pregnant then I gained weight decided my weight was still wrong. Despite a falling out when my daughter was one they denied ever commenting on my weight. Saying they had never called me slim. We made up a while later only for them to repeat these repressive behaviours a line was crossed when they decided to humiliate me in front of my friends they laid into my weight once more this time they played the your vegan that's why your too slim card.
The digs, the staring at my food continued, was really only such a small part of it. The attention and micromanaging started to shift onto my children and their eating habits. Watching their weight, their height.
It had to stop. My grandfather was under five foot he was small but fit he joined the navy underage and became a stone mason. I'm one of the tallest in my family at five foot 2 and you can't really imagine that my bones would be big, and I have an extremely high metabolism. My African friend is also small and slim and her parents also, he also had been teased by people about her weight. Despite all the shapes and sizes in the world, some will always turn natural onto a negative. Force their opinions on people, think they are right and they know everything. They won't budge in their thinking and they probably won't give up pointing out that their is something there. It might be quiet for a while and hard but it is definitely better than always being told your body isn't right.
People who know me know that I do eat and I love food and yet for year's id been accused of having eating disorders, not eating enough, looking too slim. Why should it be an issue if someones always telling you your slim right? In a world that wants to be slim... Doesn't matter what the words are, the effect is the same when someone tells you again and again to change and that you look wrong then you do end up with a complex. That's why I refuse to force my children to eat, I cook healthy food and offer but it's their body. Dinner should not be forced upon people. We should not put being polite before our own needs. I'm not yet singing to myself and it's still hard to be without people despite the freedom of being 'left alone' but I know that my mind is starting to find peace.