• gca037

To my dad.

Updated: Jan 22, 2021

To a dad that forced me to stay at uni

To a dad that put my dreams down

To a dad that constantly critised my looks and my weight

To a dad that thought the worst of me

To a dad that helped me make the wrong descions

To a dad that gave a million judgements on each descion i made in my late twenties amd early thirties

To a dad that didnt help me financially as much as he could.

Who said i couldn't go on holiday with him after i turned 16

Who didn't help much with my wedding

Who claimed he paid for uni but then made me use my savings and make all financial descions for me like not getting a student loan but meaning i had to stay at uni even when i hated it.

To a dad that stared at my plate when i ate even though my twenties telling me to eat more.

Who didnt say hi at uni, spoke in third person about me to his partner as said how pale and skinny i was looking

Scared and terrified me as a kid

Black mailed me in my thirties

Told me that i didn't bother getting to know his side of the family when he made it nearly impossible not only from his abusive ways but by lieing to me and going events with the family and only telling me after by accident.

we cannot consider to look or make judgements into the lives of others. We cannot pressures others to act - it only creates resentment and fear. We can only teach and lead through our kwn examples, not those that we consciously do to impress other but thise bold selfless acts we do that we admire in others. We must focus on the good. No matter how many times we use the actions of others to justify our bad ways, no matter how hard our past, our future is our own responsibility. Do not give into their mistreatment of you and let it ripple into your current life. Your children are not theirs your actions not their's. They do not know what you are. You are the fresh start, you are the change, you drive a path not by running away but by standing your ground and saying i will do everything in my power not to show the anger and control you showed me. Its my body and it was my body its their body. Your voice holds no power here. Focus on the good what we have even if its not perfect or what we expect. Let them be themselves ni matter what they say or do. Do nit control the words or actions of others.

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